So, a number of years ago, some lady burned herself with McDonald's coffee and got a huge settlement because . . . no one warned her that the coffee was hot. I'm a bit too lazy at the moment to track down a link to the story, but pretty much everyone has already heard about it. It is because of this woman that retailers are now required to warn you, via a label on the cup, that the hot coffee you just ordered is (durp durp) FUCKING HOT.
End of story, right?
Fucking WRONG!
Now, not only do you need a warning not to forget that your hot beverage is hot, but you apparently need instructions as to how to go about not burning yourself.
As a kid, I remember wondering why the hell fruit-roll-up packages came with instructions on how to open and eat them. This is why.
God damnit.
WE LOVE THE HUMAN RACE
Let's face it, the human race is, in general, a tragically comic, often infuriating, endlessly confusing blip on the cosmic radar. Unfortunately, for many of us the things that highlight these attributes are often lost in the morass of "news" dealing with which starlette is dating which douchebag, which fireman just rescued a puppy, and similar such tripe.
In an attempt to balance the "awww" with the "WTF?!" we give you this little gem of misanthropic sarcasm and vitriolic bile.
Enjoy!
In an attempt to balance the "awww" with the "WTF?!" we give you this little gem of misanthropic sarcasm and vitriolic bile.
Enjoy!
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